Alice's Revenge
by VampFan539
Summary: This is what happens when you mess with Alice's clothes. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. : Squeal to Don't mess with the clothes.


Disclaimer: Other people own it, I'm just borrowing them.

This was not going to be pretty. In fact, it would be down right horrific.  
It was bad in my vision, but to see it played out in real life was entirely  
different. Could I really subject my sister and brother to the horrors that  
lay ahead of them? My mind began the all too familiar trickle, the first sign  
of a vision.

A girl sorted through another garbage bag, pulling out my Oscar de la Renta  
blood red party dress. It hadn't even been released to the public market  
yet. It was to be marketed at nearly five hundred dollars. She held it up to  
herself and sighed when it didn't even look close to fitting her.

"Stupid anorexic rich girls."

She marked the dress for sale with a three dollar price tag, and contained about defiling my clothes. It was practically  
sacrilege, that vile woman needed to be thoroughly flogged. Those were my  
babies in there. How could you put a price on children?

"Overreacting much?"

Edward's voice cut through my mental rant. I  
glared over at him and flipped him the bird. Stupid mind reading vampire, bet  
you didn't see that one coming.

"Actually I did, but oh well. I've got to meet up with Bella soon. I  
hope the next time I see you your little hissie fits will be over." Before  
I could say another word, he took off out the door.

"Yeah, well at least I'm not a sexually repressed prude." I called  
out, knowing he would hear. I wasn't sure where all this hostility was  
coming from. I was short of begging to act like a complete psycho. I  
couldn't help it though. Emmett and Bella had given all my clothes to  
Goodwill after all. I couldn't just go back and buy them, that would be tacky. It was definitely time for a little payback, Alice Style.

**Two days later**

I smiled evilly as I dragged Bella into Sears. Yeah, I knew even I a scary  
vampire shuddered the thought of braving that store. But then again, it was  
for a greater good.

Emmett followed slowly behind us, pretending to struggle with the five  
shopping bags he was carrying. I snorted ruefully and kept walking over to  
the bathing suit racks. I rummaged through them like I was actually  
interested. They were all mediocre at best, but I finally found one that was  
actually worth buying. I picked it up and handed it to Bella.

"Here, go try this on." She opened her mouth to protest.

"Shh, Bella, remember Carlisle orders, this is part of your punishment. No  
arguing."

She angrily grabbed the practically none existent two piece  
bikini from my hands and stormed into the dressing room.

I was rather impressed she hadn't fallen over her own two feet. Emmett sat  
down in the chair closest to the dressing room, placing the bags to the side.  
I waited patiently for Bella to change.

"It's on Alice."

"Good, come on out so we can see."

"No way there are other people."

"Do I have to call Carlisle?" I had my hand on my phone, just in case.

"I hate you." She said half heartily.

"No you don't, now stop stalling or else…."

I let the threat dangle, knowing she would take the bait. The door slowly opened and Bella tentatively  
stepped out. Her arms casually draped over her chest trying to be modest.

"Wow Bella, you're hot."

Emmett instantly slammed his hand over his  
mouth and closed his eyes. I knew the thought of a nearly naked Bella would run through his head for days, just to get a rise out of Edward. This was my chance; I quickly using my vampire  
speed super glued the nearest empty chair and gently tossed Bella into it.  
She didn't even have time to utter a protest. She squirmed around, but the  
glue had already hardened. Thank god for fast drying glue.

"ALICE, WHAT THE HELL?"

Emmett opened his eyes and fell down laughing as  
Bella tried to free herself. So much for alliance's in this family. I took  
a few steps back and waited for what I knew would be coming next.

The door to the other dressing room banged open, causing every human in the  
vicinity to jump. Good at least there would be an audience now.

Mike stepped out in true diva fashion. He had a pink and green feathered boa  
wrapped around his neck, and was only wearing a bright neon pink Speedo, with  
three inch stiletto's on. He very much reminded me of that guy from the  
Rocky Horror picture show.

"Hello, my little sex muffin. I've been waiting for you." He  
sauntered over to his intended victim, poor Bella. I winced as he began to  
sing. The song wasn't bad in my option, the dancing he was doing on the other hand was horrible.

I'm bringin' sexy back  
Them other boys they don't know how to act  
I think it's special... what's behind your back  
So turn around and and I'll pick up the slackBridgeDirty Babe  
You see these shackles baby I'm your slave  
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave  
It's just that no one makes me feel this way  
(take it to the chorus)ChorusCome here girl, go head be gone with it  
Come to the back, go head be gone with it  
VIP, drinks on me  
Lemme see what you're twerking with  
Look at those hips  
Make me smile  
Go 'head child and get your sexy on

Sexyback lyrics found on  
I'm bringin' sexy back  
Them other don't know how to act  
Girl let me make up for all the things you lack  
Because you're burning up I got to get it fast

(Take it to the bridge)

Dirty Babe  
You see these shackles baby I'm your slave  
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave  
It's just that no one makes me feel this way

(take it to the chorus)

Come here girl, go head be gone with it  
Come to the back, go head be gone with it  
VIP, drinks on me  
Lemme see what you're twerking with  
Look at those hips  
Make me smile  
Go 'head child and get your sexy on

I'm bringin' sexy back  
You mother watch how I attack  
If that's your girl, baby watch your back  
Cuz you're burning up for me and that's a fact.

He continued singing the song, but then did something not even I had seen  
coming. He started giving Bella a lap dance. I swear the poor girl was going  
into convulsions. Even I was about to be sick.

Emmett decided that enough was enough. He picked Mike up by the feathered  
boa and tossed him into the nearest clothing rack. A little old lady in a  
wheel chair began to wave  
around dollar bills.

"Wait, I was next sonny. I haven't been to a strip club in years."  
Nearby, another woman rolled her eyes.

"Mother, this isn't a strip club it's Sears."

"Well this sucks then." The old lady revved her little engine and took off for  
the home and garden section, her daughter close behind.

Bella began to sob, her cries of mental pain taking over. I sort of  
regretted having done this. But no it was better this way she had to learn  
that one does not mess with the clothes. I knelt down next to her and stroked  
her hair.

"Bella, what did you learn today."

"That Mike Newton is vile and a sex offender." I rolled my eyes; this  
was not the answer I wanted.

"What else?"

"That it's a bad idea to go against you and your clothing." Bingo we  
have a winner boys and girls.

Before any more could be said, Edward rushed in, Jasper close behind. Thank  
god I had talked Jasper into taking him into a hunting trip. Even though he had promised to come with us shopping. All Jasper had to say was the blood lust was getting out of hand and he needed to talk. Which Edward had sensed as a danger around Bella. So of course he had went with Jasper. Anything to protect her. Edward would  
have never allowed this to happen.

"Alice, what the hell did you do her?" Edward pushed me away from Bella  
and quickly but discretely broke the chair, effectively freeing his love, his eyes taking in the  
sight of his scantily clad fiancé. I could tell he was debating that whole  
no sex policy of his.

"Are you okay?"

"No, I'm going to need a shower and some Lysol. Lots of Lysol."

"Where's Newton?" Jasper asked. I snuck behind him, knowing Edward  
was about to loose it.

"Don't worry he's in the clothes rack playing with his massive  
bon…." I was cut off as Edward growled and jumped into the rack. The  
sounds of Mike being beaten followed. I winced, I hadn't meant for Edward  
to murder the poor kid.

"Jasper, clam him down please." Instantly everything was in tranquility  
and Emmett pulled Edward back out.

I guess Mike had been having some very x rated thoughts about Bella and his  
lap dancing. I decided that we should go. I had a vision of the police coming;  
we needed to get out of here fast. It surprised me they hadn't been called sooner, I guess management had been enjoying the show to.

Edward nodded in agreement. I scooped Bella up and into the dressing room,  
changing her back into her clothes. Then back out we went. It was so fast  
even Bella hadn't realized what had happened. I highly doubted any other  
human had either. We really were taking some exposure chances out here today.

"Let's move on out of this store. We're going to be banned from ever  
coming back here again." I said, not really caring. I had chosen this  
store for that reason. It wouldn't hurt my feelings in the least.

Somehow we made it back home without being arrested. Which was good. We all  
sat in the living room, discussing the day. Bella and I had already forgiven  
one another. Yeah, I know it was quick, but hey, when you have a sister you  
fight and then move on. I highly doubted I was safe from Edward though. I  
would definitely have to be on watch around him.

"There's one thing I don't get. How did you get Mike to that?" Bella  
asked between bites of her dinner.

"He didn't do it on his own. In Denali, Kate has the power to make  
people; men in general, do what she wants. Very helpful in the Succubus  
legend they created for themselves. She owed me a favor and couldn't  
refuse. She was there the entire time. It's just everyone was so busy  
watching Newton and saving Bella, no one noticed her."

After Bella was done eating, and Edward carried her off to bed, I settled  
down and began to think of the perfect revenge for Emmett. I had thought of a  
better plan. Life for him was about to get a lot more interesting. What I  
did to Bella would look like child's play.

I looked over at my prey and smiled sweetly. He shook his head at me and  
grinned at the challenge. His next words sealed his fate. They would start  
world war three in our house.

"Bring it on."

The End!

AN: Okay I'm done. I think Kate had a power, but they never went into detail with it. Also I have NOTHING against Sears it was just a store I picked at random. Please read and review. I think that I covered everything.


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